Author: Athena DeCruelle

French Quarter dominatrix at your service!

Job opportunities

There’s a common misconception that you’re unemployable after serving prison time or left elected office in shame due to well-documented improprieties you committed while serving the public, or both. Well, I’m here to to say that’s not true at all. A very lucrative job opportunity still awaits you as a dominatrix.

Let me be clear: I’m not referring to anyone in particular and I’m not saying men can’t/don’t work in the BDSM industry. I’m a woman, so therefore my target audience are women, particularly those who previously served constituents and now find themselves without a higher calling.

Switching careers should not be an issue whatsoever. You’re merely switching titles and the job function remains the same. As a politician, you serve your constituents by punishing them to the maximum extent possible. That’s exactly how a master-slave relationship works.

As a dominatrix, you’re paid to inflict pain, albeit for a pleasurable purpose. The customer hires you in order to reach a satisfactory climax. Similarly, politicians are elected based on promises they make. You were chosen under the expectation that these promises will come to fruition. It doesn’t matter whether pain is the price to pay for happiness because that is precisely why voters make ballot choices.

Mankind’s choice lies between freedom and happiness and for the great majority of constituents, happiness is better. Whether a politician or dominatrix, you’re given broad discretion bring happiness.

While it’s not unheard of for people to get into politics after baring skin (Stormy Daniels, Brandi Love, Mary Carey, etc.), with some even achieving success (Ilona Staller, Anastasia Deyeva and Alejandra Umana), yet politicians turning to sex work after they’ve served is an extremely rare phenomenon.

Some politicians became well-known due to their alleged proclivities for sexual deviancy while in office (Helen Chenoweth-Hage, Cindy Gamrat and Katie Hill). Unfortunately, cases like these typically lead to resignation, but not always.

As far as I know, there are no known examples of women trading politics for bondage equipment. If you think of any, please do not hesitate to let me know. But we don’t need examples, we need pioneers.

What people are missing here is that sex and politics go hand-in-hand, particularly BDSM and politics. As an elected leader/representative/whatever, you cannot tell me that your intentions are altruistic. Don’t feed us any bullshit, we know why you’re there.

The object of power has always been power. That’s why we elected you. We want to be dominated. Legislate, serve and protect the shit out of us.

So if this was your approach to running elected office, come see me, I have a job for you.

Athena DeCruelle is a French Quarter dominatrix who occasionally writes on matters relating to power, dominance and punishment. Athena can be reached at athena@thequarterrat.com.

Letters to The Quarter Rat

There’s a first time for everything, including The Quarter Rat reader mail. In this case, it’s an August email sent by a reader who goes by “Dave” and wrote to me in response to my Oct. 22, 2023 post about the NOPD’s street vendor sweep.

Apparently Dave is up for a spanking and wants no other than yours truly to administer a hefty dose of what I do best. On Aug. 5, Dave wrote (verbatim):

Hello Ms Athena,

I am dave, I recently read an online interview you did regarding the French quarter sweep by law enforcement  so I thought I might write. I am submissive male seeking a regular dominatrix for discipline sessions.

Please may I enquire as to how much would a 30 minute session run? I would like to visit niece a week.

Submissively

Dave

Dear Submissive Dave,

Thank you for writing. I first just wanted you to know that I am humbled by your correspondence. No one has ever written me before! You are also the first ever Quarter Rat reader to write to us. The tone of your email was so docile and innocent, and so sweet. Nevertheless, you have been a bad boy haven’t you, Dave? Shame on you. I’m going to flog your ass so hard, Dave.

Unfortunately, I’m unable to provide you with any current pricing information, since my schedule is completely filled for the next two years and rates will likely change by then, adjusting for inflation. But know that I’m very expensive, perhaps priceless. I’m still taking reservations for spots but given the new incoming presidential administration, I’m going to have my work cut out for me.

I can tell you, however, that I could have cancellations or that a session may end prematurely, leaving me with some extra time to squeeze in an additional client or two.

Given all of the high-profile political schmucks who’ll be seeking me out, it just might be the case that I am totally out of your league. In a world of possibilities, though, anything is possible.

But you must prove that you are worthy, Dave. Don’t make me put you in your place, Dave. I’ll put your balls in a vise. I doubt you can handle me. Many have tried, all have failed. I’m a pure machine. Give it your best shot.

I don’t fuck around. But when I do, I don’t fuck around.

Think about your own personal welfare, think about your family, your community. All of my customers have left satisfied, but demoralized. And now I’ve created at least an entire battalion of subservient human beings, effectively lobotomized through my imposition of domination and pain.

The world needs men, not crybabies, Dave. Just a thought. I look forward to your correspondence. Until then, keep your stick on the ice and don’t take any wooden nickels.

Sadistically Yours,

Athena DeCruelle

I don’t need a vendor permit because I’m NOPD’s dominatrix

Yes, you read that right! I was on the street two weekends ago during the NOPD’s joint state and federal police operation rousting street performers from Bourbon Street and the rest of the French Quarter, but I’m protected because I’m a dominatrix and some of the cops are my clients.

Apparently, cops were cracking down on “illegal” street vendors, like people who play instruments for tips, tarot card readers, etc. and citing them for not having business licenses and generally telling them to GTFO because this is what police departments do when you give them more taxpayer dollars than they need.

Using federal cops to crack down on people with tip buckets. What a concept. I didn’t realize we lived in North Korea. Definitely fooled me. There’s nothing that evokes a mental image of Orwell’s boot-on-the-face more than this shit. How ironic because that’s what these cops PAY ME to do to them. I’m getting hot just thinking about it.

It’s not like I even need to stand on the street corner to get business. And even if I do, I’m protected. I’ve built a solid and extensive list of badge-wearing clientele over the years. I’m not even on the internet, except for what you read here. People just page me when they want their asses kicked. I never disappoint.

I make a pretty good living doing what I do — no business license needed. Not that I’d ever get one. What makes you think I’d want to give my money back to my customers? I don’t offer rebates, honey. Males aren’t my only clients– females seek me out, too! “Mrs. C,” I know you know what I’m talking about! Let’s just say I’ve maybe made several recent trips to the Pontalba building.

Anything that your masochistic heart desires, you name it, I have it: whips, chains, paddles, nunchaku, platform Dr. Martens and maintain a heavy intolerance to dairy products, among other “devices.” I keep a copy of the Blue Jacket’s Manual to stay fresh on my knot-tying skills.

I even have my own handcuffs, batons, a Taser (trade from an old client) and uniforms for all of your role-playing needs. I know a person with chicken coops in “rural” Orleans Parish if you feel like going to “jail.” I am to please.

Not including bureaucrats, my clientele includes at least two dozen members of the local law enforcement community, about a handful of judges, countless licensed attorneys and highly-paid corporate executives. I charge a premium for my services.

I think about the people in the French Quarter who were cited for not having a vendors permit or forced to stop hustling under the threat of arrest. Do any of them include people reciting passages from the U.S. Constitution? Girl scouts selling cookies?

I get how the government wants to put a stop to random people serving up under-cooked burgers roasted over a hot plate on the sidewalk, but forcing buskers and tarot card readers to go home? This is not why people move to the French Quarter, given the history of this place. Tell me I’m wrong.

What if the Westboro Baptist Church held an open service on Bourbon Street, like they do several times each year, and they passed around an offering basket, you gonna arrest them if they refuse to stop? To be honest, that would be kind of hilarious if that happened.

What’s even more hilarious is how fast things go back to the way they were prior to the operation that the cops pulled two weeks ago.

If you need me, give me a call. You know who you are.

Athena DeCruelle is a French Quarter dominatrix and she loves to punish. If you’d like to respond or have any questions regarding her lifestyle, send Athena an email at athena@thequarterrat.com.