French Quarter’s top 10 best places to have sex in public

Public sex in the French Quarter is an activity that more or less tends to happen frequently, at all hours, anywhere, in sporadic patterns, at random, clandestinely for the most part, probably unprotected, likely under the influence of alcohol or drugs and between consenting adults—and possibly illegal.

Updated: Aug. 1, 2020, 3:26 p.m. CST: New Orleans Municipal Code 54-260 states “it shall be unlawful for any person to engage in, participate in, manage, produce, sponsor, present or exhibit obscene live conduct” including masturbation; “excretory functions;” “lewd” exhibition, actual simulated, or animated, of the genitals; and sadomasochistic abuse, among others.

If you’re gonna do it, use your best judgment and consider these top 10 spots:

Jax Brewery on the Mississippi River side. Photo: bootbearwdc | Flickr CC.

1. The Mississippi River side of Jax Brewery at night
Some of the concrete planters could provide good cover. Beware of the random straggler.

Photography prohibition is strictly enforced inside The Dungeon. Photo: Pamela Carls | Flickr CC.

2. The cages at The Dungeon
The cages are on the second floor of The Dungeon. You might get away with having sex in the cages, you might not. Photography is strictly prohibited inside the bar without permission.

The Royal Sonesta Hotel. Photo: nathanmac87 | Flickr CC.

3. The Bourbon Street balconies of the Royal Sonesta Hotel
Perhaps this is synonymous with any hotel balcony on Bourbon Street.

Aftermath of the Hard Rock Hotel collapse on Oct. 21, 2019. Photo: Infrogmation | Flickr CC.

4. The Hard Rock Hotel ruins
Not recommended, but included for obvious reasons.

The intersection of Ursuline and Decatur streets. Photo: Ken Lund | CC Flickr.

5. Anywhere on Decatur Street at night
Such a wide variety of places: Jackson Square, Washington Artillery Park, the nearby French Market, New Orleans Jazz National Historical Park, etc.

The Andrew Jackson statue in the French Quarter. Photo: Tim Wilson | Flickr CC.

6. On the Andrew Jackson statue
Why-in-hell-not?

Photo: Infrogrmation | Wikimedia Commons.

7. Governor Nicholls Street Wharf at night
It’s a fairly secluded spot where nobody will mess with you. If the tide is low, you might actually get to have sex on the beach.

Woldenberg Park. Photo: Infrogmation | Flickr CC.

8. Woldenberg Park
It’s probably best to do it here at night, but you never know. Nevertheless, there’s a nice riverfront view.

The Battle of Liberty Place monument was removed on April 24, 2017. Photo: Infrogmation | CC Flickr.

9. In the spot where the monument commemorating the Battle of Liberty Place once existed on Badine Street
Erected in 1891, the monument commemorated the Battle of Liberty Place, an attempted insurrection of the white supremacist Crescent City White League against Louisiana Reconstructionist government forces on Sept. 14, 1874. More than 30 people were killed, including seven police officers.

The monument was removed from its Badine Street location on April 24, 2017 amid controversy.

St. Anthony’s Garden at St. Louis Cathedral. Photo: Kimberly Vardeman | Flickr CC.

10. St. Anthony’s Garden
More power to you if you can make it over the fence, just don’t get caught.

Honorable mention: Aunt Tiki’s, The Abbey Bar, Bienville monument.

Comments? Feedback? Disagree with the list? Want to include an entry? Have an idea for a list? Send an email to dave@thequarterrat.com.