Barking at tourists in the mid-day sun
The fucks I give always add up to none
You are looking for a job and sent by Wiener Joe
Cause our barback got fired for selling fake blow
Our manager got killed speeding on his Harley
Now the biggest man here is a dwarf named Charlie
The work is hard and the work is steady
Just don’t you be fuckin up around Big Eddie
Beer and titties beer and titties
I scream it every day in this goddamn city
Beer and titties beer and titties
Why does this street always smell so shitty?
See that dancer with the big double D’s?
She’s shaking it to pay for her master’s degree
After ten years of serving in the Navy
I now sail on this Bourbon Street gravy
We’re not Toulouse and not too tight
We run the hustle through another night
Where’s my shoes did you ask?
In about two seconds they’ll be up your ass
Beer and titties beer and titties
I scream it every night in this goddamn city
Beer and titties beer and titties
Why does your ass always smell so shitty?
We don’t mind if you act a little screwie
But don’t be fuckin with our Uncle Louie
If you get out of line you out of towners
We’ll take you in the alley for a Quarter pounder
Down on Decatur there ain’t no hope
Just cheap drinks and punks on dope
We got some naked pictures of your mom
Check them out at THE QUARTER RAT DOT COM
Beer and titties beer and titties
I scream it every day in this goddamn city