French Quarter’s top 10 best places to have sex in public

Public sex in the French Quarter is an activity that more or less tends to happen frequently, at all hours, anywhere, in sporadic patterns, at random, clandestinely for the most part, probably unprotected, likely under the influence of alcohol or drugs and between consenting adults—and possibly illegal.

Updated: Aug. 1, 2020, 3:26 p.m. CST: New Orleans Municipal Code 54-260 states “it shall be unlawful for any person to engage in, participate in, manage, produce, sponsor, present or exhibit obscene live conduct” including masturbation; “excretory functions;” “lewd” exhibition, actual simulated, or animated, of the genitals; and sadomasochistic abuse, among others.

If you’re gonna do it, use your best judgment and consider these top 10 spots:

Jax Brewery on the Mississippi River side. Photo: bootbearwdc | Flickr CC.

1. The Mississippi River side of Jax Brewery at night
Some of the concrete planters could provide good cover. Beware of the random straggler.

Photography prohibition is strictly enforced inside The Dungeon. Photo: Pamela Carls | Flickr CC.

2. The cages at The Dungeon
The cages are on the second floor of The Dungeon. You might get away with having sex in the cages, you might not. Photography is strictly prohibited inside the bar without permission.

The Royal Sonesta Hotel. Photo: nathanmac87 | Flickr CC.

3. The Bourbon Street balconies of the Royal Sonesta Hotel
Perhaps this is synonymous with any hotel balcony on Bourbon Street.

Aftermath of the Hard Rock Hotel collapse on Oct. 21, 2019. Photo: Infrogmation | Flickr CC.

4. The Hard Rock Hotel ruins
Not recommended, but included for obvious reasons.

The intersection of Ursuline and Decatur streets. Photo: Ken Lund | CC Flickr.

5. Anywhere on Decatur Street at night
Such a wide variety of places: Jackson Square, Washington Artillery Park, the nearby French Market, New Orleans Jazz National Historical Park, etc.

The Andrew Jackson statue in the French Quarter. Photo: Tim Wilson | Flickr CC.

6. On the Andrew Jackson statue
Why-in-hell-not?

Photo: Infrogrmation | Wikimedia Commons.

7. Governor Nicholls Street Wharf at night
It’s a fairly secluded spot where nobody will mess with you. If the tide is low, you might actually get to have sex on the beach.

Woldenberg Park. Photo: Infrogmation | Flickr CC.

8. Woldenberg Park
It’s probably best to do it here at night, but you never know. Nevertheless, there’s a nice riverfront view.

The Battle of Liberty Place monument was removed on April 24, 2017. Photo: Infrogmation | CC Flickr.

9. In the spot where the monument commemorating the Battle of Liberty Place once existed on Badine Street
Erected in 1891, the monument commemorated the Battle of Liberty Place, an attempted insurrection of the white supremacist Crescent City White League against Louisiana Reconstructionist government forces on Sept. 14, 1874. More than 30 people were killed, including seven police officers.

The monument was removed from its Badine Street location on April 24, 2017 amid controversy.

St. Anthony’s Garden at St. Louis Cathedral. Photo: Kimberly Vardeman | Flickr CC.

10. St. Anthony’s Garden
More power to you if you can make it over the fence, just don’t get caught.

Honorable mention: Aunt Tiki’s, The Abbey Bar, Bienville monument.

Comments? Feedback? Disagree with the list? Want to include an entry? Have an idea for a list? Send an email to dave@thequarterrat.com.





WWL shows naked guy in front of Lafitte’s bar on live TV

(Photo: @salobonavia | Twitter)
A naked man was filmed by WWL on live TV during a Saturday report on the Phase Two reopening of the French Quarter.

The man was completely naked, except for shoes and the surgical face mask, and briefly appeared during reporter Meghan Kee’s live Saturday late afternoon broadcast in front of Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop Bar at the corner of Bourbon and St. Phillip streets (pictured above).

The man was a participant in the World Naked Bike Ride held in New Orleans on the same day the city entered Phase Two reopening from COVID-19 lockdown restrictions.

CDC warns public against “aggressive” rats looking for food

(Photo: Matt Baume | CC)
An advisory issued by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention earlier this month is warning the public about hungry and “aggressive” rats on the hunt for new sources of food.

COVID-19 lockdown restrictions closed restaurants and businesses in dense commercial districts, including the French Quarter, cutting off rats’ main source of food and leading to the “unusual” behavior of trying to survive, according to a May 21 CDC advisory.

Some jurisdictions reported increased rodent activity following the coronavirus restrictions, according to the CDC.

Days after the coronavirus restrictions took effect in New Orleans, a TV crew filming an empty Bourbon Street captured a congregation of rats, which share a symbiotic relationship with the French Quarter.

Additionally, the CDC warned against a decline, then a resurgence in rat populations due to events such as hurricanes and recommended control measures such as bait stations.

Efforts to eradicate rats in the French Quarter, however, have been unsuccessful in the neighborhood’s 300-year existence.

Read the CDC’s advisory here.

‘Queen of Bourbon Street’ Mamie Marie recovered from coronavirus just in time for Easter

As soon as Mamie Marie Francois recovered from a bout of coronavirus, she resumed her Bourbon Street rump-shaking booty duty with a vengeance in a sign that the French Quarter is starting to resemble the way it was before the COVID-19 outbreak.

And just in time for Easter Sunday.

In a video post to social media by user Nancy Mae, Marie was recorded riding her signature rolling tricycle disco down an empty Bourbon Street at midday on Friday before disembarking and twerking in a pink bunny suit.

Described as the “Queen of Bourbon Street,” Francois has become a fixture of the Vieux Carre gracing pedestrians with dance moves and a decorated musical tricycle.

Francois, 72, came down with a 100-degree temperature in the days following St. Patrick’s Day and eventually went to the doctor where she tested positive for coronavirus, according to the The Times Picayune | The New Orleans Advocate.

She has since recovered, at least to some degree, and is back patrolling the streets making sure the French Quarter stays weird.

30-foot pop-up inflatable poo emoji appears in the French Quarter

(Photo: Imgur)
A 30-foot-tall inflatable poo emoji popped up in the French Quarter on Friday and was placed there by a company trying to bring brand awareness to a product that masks the smell of feces.

The Addison, Texas-based company Poo-Pourri brought its inflatable pile of poo to the 500 Decatur St. parking lot, where it attracted dozens of onlookers who snapped selfies in front of the emoji over the weekend.

The inflatable pile was a part of a cross-country Giant Poo tour that started in Dallas in October 2019 and made its way to New Orleans for a three-day stop.

For 12-hours each day between Feb. 28 and March 1, participants entered the inflatable poo house where they encountered a “transformative” video production experience of shit and dropping the “negative shit you’ve been holding on to.”

More information can be found at giantpoo.com.